People Can Do Anything — If We’re Triggered, Then It’s Our Lesson
Everybody has the free will to do anything they want. This is a free-will world. Your husband has free will by not wanting to talk about some issues because he just doesn’t want to feel it. Your parents have free will always to give unsolicited advice and want to control your life.
Your friend has free will to play with her phone while dining with you and makes you less special. Your children have free will to be angry without telling you the reason and make you frustrated. Your in-laws have free will for bad-mouthing you.
Some writers have the right to write about how they become a millionaire. Others also have the right to write about their own success and feelings. How do you feel about other’s success? Does it reflect something inside you that is lacking?
You also have a free will
If you want to be angry, then be it. If you want to defend yourself, then do it. Nobody has the right to stop you if you chose not to listen. It is a free world. We should honor other’s perspectives because if it’s not true for them, they would not think and speak about it.
Whether we think we are doing a good thing or a bad thing, contrasts will always happen. If you let 10 ten people judged you, all of them maybe will have 10 different misaligned perceptions or maybe more. Well, back to you, how do you want to respond to it with your free will? Do you want to try to correct their perspective about you by presenting some facts and proofs? Or you will hold your ground and just let them be.
The universe is a big mirroring game
Let’s play a game! Imagine that everyone you see is a projection of what is inside your soul, resolved or unresolved. You can start with your own family at home. Pay attention to whatever arises no matter how trivial it may seem. Every person that is placed in our life has a certain purpose for us.
My greatest teacher until now is my ex-husband. He was mirroring every void and reflected all of my shadows that I didn’t know to exist. Basically, he showed me all the aspects in me that need integration. He helps me by not loving me — yes, it is painful but my soul needs it.
We learned so much from pain and suffering than from happiness. It really took me more than a decade to be able to say this. Now I can say that every poison life throws at me, I can and will transform it into honey no matter what. It’s like scavenger hunts, you will find a gift in places you never ever imagine.
Triggers are God’s gift
Scream if you want to scream. You are allowed to express yourself, sometimes we can’t control it and it’s okay. We don’t need people who mostly wronged us because of our intense feelings. Most people will react in their own interest only and usually, it’s because they didn’t feel comfortable with our feelings.
Anger or any other reaction is the first encounter when triggers appear. Catch it when they come and owned it because it is here now. Breathe and feel it in your body, knowing that it is all vibrational energy. Anchor yourself in your root of truth. Go back to your inner home, a place where everything doesn’t matter. Triggers are the pathway to your true self where nothing bothers you.
Let people do whatever they want
I guess I have found one of the wisdom of life, which is to let people be. Let people have their own opinion and how they want to manage their own life. If we have the urge to explain or persuade our way, then it is a sign that we overlooked.
I used to overexplain everything, I become rigid, tense, and hard because I was always in the fight or flight mode. And it affected my body, I become easily susceptible to illness. My body was weak, hollow, no energy, just like a zombie walking with no purpose.
All of that experience was needed in my life. It gave me a bitch slap to let people do whatever they want and not try to change anything. If what people did is affecting me, then it is the universe that tells me, “Hey girl, look at this, I’m assisting you in loving yourself more.”
What loving ourselves really means
Loving ourselves means that we are willing to look at a piece of ourselves that is in pain and heal it with love so that we are no longer a match to that pain anymore. It also means cutting energetic patterns with people and choosing not to be around them because we love ourselves so much.
Walk away from the old patterns with love, bow to them, and thank them for the lessons. This is how we love ourselves by freeing ourselves from the cage that we once built out of unconsciousness.
If we’re still engaging in those dramas, it simply means that we choose not to love ourselves by creating unwanted energy in our bodies. To get involved in some drama, first, we need to build up some energy that matches the drama, otherwise, we wouldn’t be interested in playing in it.
Boundaries are the magic wand
I can’t fathom how important boundaries are. It really can save our life; without it, we are tossed like a salad and confused about everything. Boundaries are the place where I can love you and me simultaneously. We place boundaries because we love and honor ourselves.
It is never about the other person. It’s all about creating a life where we can feel safe enough to enjoy this life with ease. By not having boundaries, we will be bombarded by the feeling of unease that lingers in the background of our minds.
Your mind will not stop wondering, thinking, analyzing, judging, wishing, etc. It’s draining our life force energy and opening the gate to dis-ease. When we place boundaries, we are only responsible only for how we treat others, but not how they react to us.
Let people do whatever they want, but please keep your boundaries and then move on.
Again, and again, and again times infinity
There is no secret to life. Life is a multiplicity of choices that we made to improve our life. And we will fail from time to time, but every time we fail, we will collect a new paradigm and new tools to navigate the next moment.
So that, the next moment, we can make a better choice. And then, we will fail again, but you will only get stronger, wiser, and mature. The cycle will keep going and going until one day, we will get to a place of serenity and peace inside you that no amount of storm can rock you out of your throne.
So, could you do it again, and again, and again? It will get better, and better, and wonderful. One day, we will get into a place where nothing is matters except our soul. That is when you know that you got this life right because it’s priceless.