It’s spiritual bypassing, and this is how to do it consciously.

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I remember my mother said to me, “Just forgive him, for he didn’t know what he was doing,” when I told her that I wasn’t happy in my marriage. My mother is a catholic, so she always recites that.

It took me 3 years to completely forgive my ex-husband, who is just a wounded little boy that never been loved. A few days ago, he did a dramatic scene in front of our children. …


We don’t know that life can be easier.

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A mother yelled at her daughter because she refused to eat — She uses anger to make the daughter obey her.

People condemning others that don’t wear a mask in the street/open-air — They are spitting bullets of fear/threat.

A woman is bad-mouthing another woman — She wants others to hate the same woman so she can be the “right” one (trauma response).

People go to other people's Instagram and make a nasty comment — They felt triggered and become reactive.

A woman uses sex and a baby to hook the partner — She manipulates him through the back door.


We “allow” it by not having boundaries.

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It is a painful pill to swallow especially when we are in pain. This kind of statement can invoke anger in people because we don’t want to take accountability to look inward. We want the easy route — pointing the finger is easy. It’s the knee-jerk reaction that is embedded in our DNA.

When we are still unawakened, we will see things as separate from us. Therefore, anything that invokes negative reactions, we will easily be implicating it onto the other.

Our Romantic Partner Is Our Greatest Awakener

I used to blame my ex-husband because he brings so much suffering in me for years. I used to…


There is nothing wrong with us, we are ascending.

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I have been paralyzed for the last two weeks. I can’t write — I don’t know what to write and how to find the words. I even think that I want to stop writing because I suck at it (thank god I’m not). Headaches seem to nest in me. I can’t find the flow even though I’ve experienced a lot of heavy emotions.

I don’t do much except strolling mindlessly through Instagram, binge eating, and pitying myself. I wondered why life was always fu*king with me while I was already doing everything I could to heal and expand.

I am…


#4 — Aim for intimacy.

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Life is all about relationships. With the parents who loved you and misunderstood you in their own way, with a friend who often feels offended but very sweet actually, with a friend who really loved you and always gives encouragement no matter what, with a bunch of surface friends on WhatsApp group that you really want to leave but afraid on their reaction, etc.

Yeah, it kind of sucks but also lovely. Somehow, I feel a relationship is like mystery games. We like to play hide and seek, playing hard to get, or playing the zero-sum game.

I believe somehow…


It’s an underrated worldwide dis-ease.

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I have it. You have it. Every human being on this planet has traumas. We’re unaware of it because we’re identified with it, and it has normalized into our personalities.

One day in my fourth grade, I forgot to bring my history book, and the teacher is very fierce and stern — He was tall, big, and had a mustache. Just by the look from his eyes, I shrank like a rotten apple.

I still can recall, my heart was beating and bursting out from my chest because I was terrified, and my hands were shivering. And when he knew…


My body has the ability to transform dense energies

(Food is about love and heritage.) Photo by Pixabay from Pexels.

My mother never tells me she loves me verbally, but I can taste her love for me through the foods she makes for me. I can feel love through food. I can taste the sweetness of life through food.

Food is the medium of indulgence and heritage. I can feel a person’s heirloom through the specific food they cook for me, and I love to eat any food as long as it’s not fishy.

Food for me is a celebration and an honor for the abundance of this universe.

I have someone who works for me babysitting my son. She…


From your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

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It’s a painful reality, though. We’re tormented between love and hate. I know that it wasn’t anybody’s fault. I know that you are doing the best you can within your ability to love us, your children.

But dear parents, you often break our hearts more deeply than anyone else. You are the first people we fall in love with. But also the first people who are likely to wound us by parenting us through your own unhealed wounds.

As a result of your unhealed traumas, you are inadvertently traumatized and leave us struggling with feelings of abandonment, emotional unavailability, unworthiness…


A few reflections that can help you.

Author

I was born 41 years ago in Jakarta. I think the phrase ‘life begins at 40’ is very true. I feel like a teen that’s just starting out but with a solid foundation.

Remembering my childhood, I was a timid girl, tall and skinny. I don’t speak a lot because I couldn’t pronounce the letter “R” correctly in Indonesian. I was the little kid who always chooses the last row in the class because I didn’t like to be seen.

I remember how I wanted to be invisible during school times. For someone who is a free spirit and an…


This one episode summed up my 40 years of pursuing happiness.

Courtesy Korean Cultural Centre

I’ve watched this Chef Table season 3 on Netflix 3 times. And I was always sobbing half of the time. How can a cooking show teach me so much about life and enlightenment? Why am I feeling so connected with her story? I felt like I’m seeing a part of me in her story. Yes, we are all relatable.

Her name is Jeong Kwan, she is a Zen Buddhist Nun who lives in Chunjinam Heritage in Seoul. She said that we could share our emotions with foods — there is no difference between cooking and pursuing enlightenment.

She cooks temple…

Kembang Langit

An Old Soul, a Dreamer, a Student of The Universe. Youtube (woman and the soul) : https://cutt.ly/hkzcO6a

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